Can romance survive when your twosome becomes a threesome? When the words your partner whispers in the middle of the night aren’t “I want you,” but “the baby’s crying”?
Violet, the heroine of Best Laid Plans, finds baby-daddy Jake most irresistible when he displays his tender side, caring for their three-month old daughter. What’s more heroic than a man who boldly goes where spit-up and poopy diapers are sure to follow?
But Violet and Jake have been apart for the pregnancy. He hasn’t heard her dry-heaving in the bathroom, and she hasn’t had to clean his golden whiskers out of the sink. This is probably not your situation.
It’s possible, however, for a couple that has gone through pregnancy together to rekindle the romantic spark. At times it might seem like just one more chore to add to an endless list, but remember that happy parents are better parents, and good role models. So don’t feel guilty when you hide the dirty onesies in the closet and set a romantic mood with candles—you’re doing it for your child’s well-being!
Here are some tips from veterans:
1. Take 10 seconds in the morning to exchange a real kiss, one that says “I’m still in love with you.”
2. If you’re too tired to do anything but watch TV in the evening, share the sofa and snuggle. In Best Laid Plans, a short, shared nap works wonders for Jake and Violet!
3. Don’t forget compliments, notes, and thoughtful gestures. You know you’re going to check your e-mail sometime during the day, why not send him a quick “missing you” message?
4. The grandparents want to have the little one to themselves—let them. Make wise use of their services. You can tell them you’re going to a movie, then head back home to your own bedroom. You might even have time for a nap.
5. You both have to shower, so why not do it together? It can be a nice start to the day, or, after the baby’s down for the night, it can help facilitate the transition from parents to lovers. If you need more help, a massage is ideal—just don’t spoil the mood by using baby lotion.
6. Mommies and Daddies are people too—spend a few minutes at the end of the day talking about something other than your precious bundle of joy.
7. Be patient. Caring for your baby is hard work, but sharing the load—and seeing each other in your new roles—will make your love even stronger. Before long you’ll be burning up the sheets again!