A Romance Writer’s Guide to Getting Over Heartbreak

By Jaye Shields, author of Secrets of the Fog and Secrets of the Sky

Secrets of the SkyWhat’s a young romance writer to do when her boyfriend dumps her? Write about it and put it on her publisher’s website upon the dawn of her latest release. Retribution much?

In my latest paranormal romance, Secrets of the Sky, Sparrow Reed gets her happily ever after. Many readers fell in love with her as Tera’s best friend in Secrets of the Fog. I adore her too, and I’m happy she got her happy ending, but you know what makes me even happier? Knowing that I’m still looking forward to mine. Fantasizing about it…Drooling over it…and in the mean time, dating—scratch that—researching for my current work in progresses. Tee-hee. This brings me to my first tip to getting over heartbreak…

1. Be fearless – get out and try new experiences. Go horseback riding if you’re afraid of horses, go to another country if you’ve never been out of your home state, try cooking even though your oven looks like it wants to eat your hand. And if you don’t feel fearless, listen to the song by Colbie Caillat on repeat until you’re in tears, overwhelmed with girl power thrumming through your veins. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve played that song on guitar over, and over again. And how many times I’ve almost recorded it and sent it to my exes and in in your face, I don’t need you type of thing.

A frightening aspect which brings me to my next point…

2. Keeps your girlfriends close – They’ll keep you from drunk-texting, eyeballing the creepy guys at the bar, and most of all, smack you if you start feeling sorry for yourself. In my case, I immediately turned to my Crimson Ladies, that’s right, the authors you already love make one hell of a broken heart-healer. Let’s just say the Crimson Authors facebook pages was flooded with images of shirtless Thor, Ryan Gosling, Hugh Jackman, and tons of hotties. There was ex-boyfriend bashing and inspirational quoting to the maximum. Therefore, keep your friends close. Laughter is the best medicine for healing heartbreak

3. Sell lots of romance novels (or excel in whatever trade you work) – My jobs got me through the thickest of my disappointment, mostly because I was too busy to be sad. That, and I love my job. So above all, keep busy, but most of all, make sure you love your job. After all, if you have a heinous occupation and no hunk to come home to a massage to, then hell, you at least need a stress-free job. That’s what I adore about my work as a flight attendant, cute pilots, cute passengers, and a new destination every day. We’re hiring if you’re interested 😉

4. Most people recommend hitting the gym after a heartbreak and that getting in shape will help you feel better. Personally, I haven’t tried this one. I’m still in the Ben & Jerry’s and Sierra Nevada phase. Perhaps when this phase hits its peak I’ll need to write a follow up post about the fourth point…

Thanks for stopping by. I hope that you’ll check out Secrets of the Sky, a story that made me laugh, cry, and smile while writing it. Editing it was all the more fun and I knew I had a winner when each time I read it, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Remember how I said keeping your friends close was important? Well, Sparrow, her hunk Rowen, and her family of crazy aunts became my allies during heart break.

And now I have another book out, another dream come true. Life is good.

Thanks for letting me stop by.

Do you have a secret for getting over a broken heart? Share in the comments!

8 thoughts on “A Romance Writer’s Guide to Getting Over Heartbreak

  1. Carol

    Wonderful post, Jaye. Heartbreak is a tough one, but you’ve given some excellent tips to overcome it. Plus, once having experienced heartbreak, one can write about it with complete authenticity!

  2. Eliza Daly

    I usually hit the chocolate rather than the treadmill after a breakup. In high school my boyfriend gave me a one pound box of candy for Valentine’s Day and we had a horrible fight and I ate almost the entire pound in one sitting. Have to admit, I didn’t feel better though. 🙂

    Congrats on the release and good luck!