Q: We’ve been married for a while. How can we keep romance alive?

EvaA: Once upon a time, I had the smarts to marry a guy who still gets my heart to beat faster, makes me miss him like crazy when we’re apart, and makes me laugh. At him. At myself. Together.

Wait. In the spirit of full disclosure, I proposed three times, count ’em three times, before Joseph said, “Yes.”

Even today, he’s my Ricky and I’m Lucy with plenty of ‘splaining to do. Remember Tim Taylor on Home Improvement? Joseph is my Tim and I’m his Jill. We’re a tomaaaato tomato and potaaaato potato couple who doesn’t always agree, yet we laugh about the same stuff. Okay, not everything. I still can’t fathom the male fascination with The Three Stooges. Can you?

Were those ancient TV references too hazy? Did I really suggest that to keep romance alive you must do more Nick at Nite? Ah, no. Instead in the romance department it’s essential, I believe, to know the exact location your spouse’s funny bone. Lighten up and be silly. Then watch your husband begin to laugh, too, probably at himself. If you must tell him some jokes, watch What About Bob and/or slip on a banana peel. I double dare you.

For more than 50 years actress Joanne Woodward was happily married to one of the handsomest hunks ever, Paul Newman. Quite a feat in fickle Hollywood. She once said, “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.”

Like Ms. Woodward, I believe we all need a daily requirement of laughter, especially that intimate kind only possible by truly knowing the one you love. Really now, who better to tickle your tender side than the guy you share your life with?

Jane Angieski, the heroine of my novel Games of the Heart, deals with tough situations and knows sadness too well. Yet as you’ll read in this romantic comedy with a bit of mystery, it’s her zany, unexpected joie de vivre that captivates her hero. How serious can Jane be about herself when she becomes human projectile and tackles the local heartthrob? Oh, yeah, she lands on him in a position which in some states would get her arrested. So much for impressing a man, right?

You can’t always turn that frown upside down. But here’s the deal: Generously sprinkle your relationship with laughter and watch those giggles fan the flames.

— Eva Shaw, author of Games of the Heart (Crimson Romance, July 2012)

4 thoughts on “Q: We’ve been married for a while. How can we keep romance alive?

  1. Lisa Weseman

    Eva– love that pic of your and your Joseph!

    I absolutely agree with your advice. I’m about to hit 5 years of marriage (this week!) which may not seem like much, but these days it is! And my husband and I laugh every single day.

    Congrats on your success (book AND marriage). Can’t wait to read “Games of the Heart.”

  2. ElizabethRoberts

    Eva, you are so right about laughter in ones relationship. It is the real glue that holds people together. I am so looking forward to reading “Games of the Heart”! Congratulations. And yes, that picture is wonderful!

  3. travelingcynthia

    I’ve been married almost 40 years (to the same man!@?) and laughter and humor have been significant components in our best of times, as well as the worst. What a great photo (I can’t help but notice you both seem to be laughing). Congrats on your book. I can’t wait to read it!