Q: My boyfriend has asked me to go on a trip with him. We’ve been dating for a couple of months, but I’m worried leaving town together might be too big of a step. Should I go? If it’s too soon it could break us up. What should I do?

A: Trips and vacations are fun! However, I can understand your hesitation because they can also be stressful and long. It sounds like you are skeptical of joining him on the trip (whether it be for business or pleasure) because you aren’t sure you’ll make it out as a couple. You have a rare opportunity to test out your theory of compatibility. You really get to know someone, and yourself, when you are in close confines for three or more days – whether your trip be by vehicle, airplane, train, or other.

If you are taking a road trip (the best kind of vacationing in my opinion!) you’ll *really* get to know each other because you can’t escape them. You’ll be sitting next to each other for miles and miles. You’ll talk and connect and it’ll be fun. You’ll sit in comfortable silence staring out the windows at the beautiful landscape and it’ll be wonderful. You’ll decide on bathroom breaks, food spots, and exits to take together. It can be a great bonding experience. There is always a flip side, but you won’t know until you try. Assuming the worst isn’t any way to live life.

Your opportunity will let you see sides of your boyfriend you probably haven’t seen before, and vice versa. If it works out, then great. You know that you two are compatible and can continue happily dating. If you can’t stand each other by the time the trip is done, well then you might’ve just saved yourself some time. Kick him to the curb now because it will only go downhill from there.

One thing is for sure—it’s the little moments in life. It’s the little things that you’ll remember – where you were when you stopped for breakfast and watched the sun rise, and when he grabbed your hand to walk through the airport. And how you felt when you two were all you had to rely on. Go on the trip. Either way, you’ll know.

Dana Volney, author of Paradise Point and Holiday Hoopla

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