Q: My boyfriend got a job across country. How do I make a long distance relationship work?

A: Long distance relationships are hard. No way to sugarcoat it. But, if you really like this guy, here are some things to consider. First, communication is key. Before he leaves you need to have a frank discussion about the rules of your long-distance relationship. Is dating other people off limits? What about sex with other people? The answer may seem clear, but unless you clarify your wants beforehand you leave room for misunderstanding. You should already know each other’s quirks, sex drives, etc. and can answer realistically if you’ll be able to ignore the opposite sex for extended period of times.

You’ll also need to figure out how often you’ll visit. No matter how much you talk on the phone or do facetime on your iPad, you’re going to want to see each other. If he’s across the country, look into the costs of traveling. Do you have the money to visit once or twice a year and vice versa. No need breaking your budget visiting him if he’s not going to return the effort.

Finally, take a long look at your relationship. Is this guy “the one”? Does he feel the same about you? And if so, what’s the possibility of you moving with him? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then you may have to consider if the relationship will survive the separation. Relationships are hard when you’re in the same house; imagine thousands of miles between you. Do some soul searching, listen to your intuition and have that discussion with your boyfriend. I truly believe that if something’s meant to be it will and your relationship may survive.

— Synithia Williams, author of You Can’t Plan Love

2 thoughts on “Q: My boyfriend got a job across country. How do I make a long distance relationship work?

  1. Ashlyn

    Great post, Synithia! My husband and I went through a long distance relationship before the times of texting and face timing, lol. We did things the old fashioned way- phone calls, and love letters sent via the post office. You pose great questions, and those are all things to look at when considering a long distance relationship.