Q: I’ve been studying abroad and met the most amazing guy. The problem is I have a boyfriend back home. But lately he’s been kind of detached. I don’t know if it’s the distance or if we’re just growing apart. I’m not sure who to choose and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Help!

A: Let me preface this by saying you might end up hurting someone’s feelings no matter what. You can sugar coat until Judgment Day and sometimes it just doesn’t help.

Everyone says long distance relationships are hard, but you don’t realize how hard until you’re actually in one. The detachment you feel between you and your guy back home is probably the salt water corroding your phone conversation. Luckily, technology makes it so we can get closer to the people we miss than ever before. Try getting setting up a daily Skype conversation so you can check in with each other. It doesn’t have to be long, just an update about your day. The point is to see each other and hear his voice, because maybe the distance is all in your head. Maybe your guy just isn’t a very responsive texter.

As for Mr. Hunky Abroad, he has the least to lose in all of this. Gently turning him down probably isn’t going to break his heart, especially if he knows you’re already attached and faithful. Also, what will you do when you’re done studying and go home? You’ll be right back in the situation you’re in now.

However, all that being said, you have to follow your heart. If you don’t love the guy you left behind and have seriously fallen for this new guy then you might just have to break things off with your boyfriend. Just make sure you don’t do it via text message. Talk to the poor guy and explain yourself before you bail on him.

~ Honoria Ravena, author of My Cyborg Savior

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