Q: Is there really such a thing as love at first sight?

Hmm… Interesting question.

I suppose it depends on the type of love to which you are referring. The ancient Greeks specified four types of love: true love (agape), erotic love (eros), friendship (philia), and affection (storge). In today’s terms, I’d classify these as: like, lust, friendship, and true love.

I believe in like at first sight, and definitely lust at first sight. (Hugh Jackman, Colin Firth, and Bradley Cooper, to name a few… HELLO people! ☺) Even friendship at first sight. In fact, some of my best friends are people I knew right away I’d get along with.

But true love at first? No.

To me, true love is something deeper, something that takes time to ripen—like a fine wine.

I’m not talking the giddy, breathless, must-rip-your-clothes-off-right-now infatuation of the first months or weeks of a new relationship. And—while those are heady times, to be sure—I’m speaking of a more abiding emotion.

One that settles deep in your heart and refuses to leave, no matter the circumstances or the odds against it. The kind of emotion that has you traipsing out at three in the morning to the all-night pharmacy because your significant other has a cold and can’t sleep. Or the emotion that leads you to nurse them back to health after a nasty bout of the flu, to hold their hand during chemotherapy, to overcome the inevitable difficulties life brings. I’m talking kindness and connection to last decades, lifetimes. To me this is true love.

This kind of love takes work and commitment and can’t be built on a first impression. This kind of love can move mountains and forge bonds of steel and requires full disclosure by both partners—the good, the bad, and the downright hideous. This kind of love is determined to survive.

So, no. I don’t believe in true love at first sight.

But if you see Hugh Jackman, don’t tell him I said so, eh? ☺

Traci Douglass, author of Seal of Destiny

Agree with our expert’s advice? Or do you have advice of your own to share? Sound off in the comments!

2 thoughts on “Q: Is there really such a thing as love at first sight?

  1. Oh I’m sorry but I’m going to disagree. Respectfully of course.
    I do agree about longevity and needing the foundation that weathers storms and shifting sands, standing firm during the chaos of life. But there’s something to be said for love at first sight. It happened to me with my husband. Really! We’ve been together ever since. We married within six months of meeting. I still feel that tightening in my chest thinking about him as I write this comment. He stole my heart and never, ever did I want it back. So happily I can disagree. xoxo

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