Q: I’m in a happy relationship, but I recently ran into an ex and felt a spark. What do you think this means?

A: It means you’re normal. Who hasn’t felt a spark with someone other than their partner? Or wonders what life would have been like? I think another common something is that “new” nervous sexy feeling that one used to have prior to a committed relationship. Getting all dressed up, flirting and getting that special “zing” moment when you knew the other party was interested. NORMAL.

Fantasies = Normal. Lusting = Normal. Curiosity = Normal.

Acting on? Just remember this…while the spark may have rekindled, realize your partner may be thinking the same about his/her ex or someone else. How would you feel to know he/she was seriously contemplating getting with another? What if you walked in and found him/her in another’s arms or bed?

If you would be devastated, then act as you would wish them to act. If need be, talk to your other. Plan an impromptu trip to a place neither of you has been. See something for the first time together.

If, however, you don’t care whether your other was with someone else or not…then do some soul searching. Maybe the relationship isn’t “the one” or maybe new boundaries need to be discussed. But, hard as it might be, you need honesty. You need to discuss your feelings with your other and who knows, maybe he/she is feeling the same thing.

But if you’re just fantasizing and really have no desire for anything other than some smoking hot daydreams? Then have fun and it can stay mum.

Bobbi Romans, author of Swamp Magic