Both! I believe in destiny as fervently as the next hopeless romantic. You meet someone and you feel like you’ve known him forever. He kisses you and it feels right, righter than Paul Ryan, righter than you could possibly have imagined. But love isn’t just the luck of the stars and mood lighting and magic. Love requires hard work and commitment and compromise. Passion, yes, but patience also. The ability to keep growing as independent people even within the relationship, to let each other change. I think love is something we can cultivate, that it isn’t as scarce as we’re made to fear. So even though we may dream of “the one,” I don’t think we get just one shot at love. Losing “the one” doesn’t mean it’s all over. We can learn to cherish ourselves and to open our hearts so that “the one” is less about a particular person and more about a way of loving, a way of recognizing the singular beauty in each unique relationship.
— Toni Jones, author of No Secrets in Spandex
Do you believe in “the one”? Tell us in the comments!