A: I have a crush on my much younger guy friend. We’ve been flirting a lot lately, but I’m worried about the age difference and the possibility of ruining our friendship. Should I let it go, or push ‘flirty time’ further and see where it takes us?

Q: A particular guy and I have been great friends for a long time. To be honest, I’ve had a crush on him for just as long. It was something I’d always been able to keep under control, because either he or I had always been seeing someone. But things have changed recently; we’re both single now and, if I’m not mistaken, he’s gotten a little flirty with me as of late. It hasn’t been anything obvious, but it’s definitely made me crush even harder! Despite our growing chemistry, I have a slight problem with all of this: he’s 28, I’m 34. We have tons in common, but I’m worried that the age difference may become a problem down the line. Should I let it go, or push ‘flirty time’ further and see where it takes us?

A: First and foremost: congratulations on your crush! Being smitten is one of the most fun and amazing feelings in the world – I encourage you to enjoy that at the very least! Having said that, I’m concerned you may be overthinking the situation. Age differences in couples happen all the time, and some can even go the distance. Whether you’re eight years apart or eight minutes apart, a relationship between two people takes work – the two of you have to not only want it, but to want to work for it when times are tough. The first thing you should ask yourself is, “Is he the kind of guy that wants a relationship?” Next, you should ask yourself, “Do I want a relationship?” If you answered yes to both, then you’re already on your way!

Furthermore, don’t shortchange yourself because you may or may not be worried than an age difference puts him ‘out of your league’ or makes you look like a cougar, both of which would likely open the floor to a barrage of teasing and jokes. If the chemistry is there, you shouldn’t deny it. And if you truly have tons in common, then nothing will stop flirty time from escalating to something more if you just allow it. Think of all the amazing kisses you could be missing! My advice to you, without a shadow of doubt, is to let yourself go and let it be what it shall. Don’t plague yourself with ‘what if’ down the road; you never know who could end up being your ‘hero’!

Samantha Anne, author of Kirby

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